POWER OF FORGIVENESS

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." (Lewis Smerdes)

We reacted with anger at the "creative outburst" of Mr. Fajardo, and we felt violated and protested with strong words on Mr. Tsao's discriminating remarks. Everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance. And forgiveness, like so many things in life, is easier said than done.

Sometimes forgiveness can be confused with condoning what someone has done to us.The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life. But forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness also doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.

Jesus himself gave us a three-step model of forgiveness among believers in the Gospel of Luke. He said: "Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him."
(Luke 17:3-4)

Forgiveness can be very challenging. It may be particularly hard to forgive someone who doesn't admit wrong or doesn't speak of their sorrow. Keep in mind that the key benefits of forgiveness are for you. If you find yourself stuck, it may be helpful to take some time to talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider or an unbiased family member or friend.

Holding grudges are not only bad for your mind, but research is showing that it’s also bad for your health! More and more evidence is being gathered and shows that hanging on to long-term anger can actually cause a variety of major health problems. Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers numerous benefits, including:

• Lower blood pressure
• Stress reduction
• Less hostility
• Better anger management skills
• Lower heart rate
• Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse
• Fewer depression symptoms
• Fewer anxiety symptoms
• Reduction in chronic pain
• More friendships
• Healthier relationships
• Improved psychological well-being
• Greater religious or spiritual well-being

It may also be helpful to reflect on times you've hurt others and on those who have forgiven you. As you recall how you felt, it may help you to understand the position of the person who hurt you. It can also be beneficial to pray, use guided meditation or journal. In any case, if the intention to forgive is present, forgiveness will come in its time.

Forgiveness is good for your body, your relationships, and your place in the world. That’s reason enough to convince virtually anyone to do the work of letting go of anger and working on forgiveness.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

(Matthew 18:21-22 )

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

(Luke 6:37)

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

(Colossians 3:13)